Why pressure changes leadership behaviour before it changes intent

They become more abrupt. Less available. More focused on tasks than people. This can be confusing, especially for leaders who genuinely care about how they’re experienced.  What’s important to understand is this: pressure doesn’t usually change intent. It changes behaviour.  And psychology helps us understand why.

When pressure rises, awareness narrows

Research in psychology shows that under stress, our attention naturally narrows. This is sometimes described as cognitive narrowing, a shift that helps us respond quickly to threat, but reduces our capacity for reflection, curiosity, and perspective.

From a survival point of view, this makes sense.  From a leadership point of view, it can be costly. When leaders are under pressure:

• they take in less contextual information
• they default to familiar habits
• they focus on delivery and speed
• they become less emotionally available

None of this is a moral failure. It’s a human response. But leadership is relational and people are always interpreting what leaders do.

Why leaders get misunderstood (and misunderstand others)

Another well-established psychological phenomenon helps explain what happens next. The fundamental attribution error describes our tendency to explain behaviour by personality rather than context.  So when a leader is short or distant under pressure:

• they may think: “I’m just trying to get things done.”
• others may think: “They don’t care” or “They’re underestimating us.”

The same thing happens in reverse. Leaders under pressure may interpret others as resistant, disengaged, or difficult, when those people are also responding to stress.  Pressure narrows awareness on both sides. Without reflection, this can quietly erode trust.

Self-awareness as a leadership responsibility

In our leadership work, we often say that self-awareness is not a personality trait – it’s a responsibility. One that takes will and skill.  Not because leaders should be perfect. But because leadership behaviour always has impact, whether intended or not.  This doesn’t mean constant self-monitoring or emotional over-analysis. It means developing the ability to notice key moments, especially when pressure is high. Moments such as:

• starting a difficult meeting
• responding to challenge
• making a quick decision
• reacting when something goes wrong

These teachable moments are where leadership is felt and where small shifts can make a disproportionate difference.

How self-awareness actually develops

Interestingly, self-awareness rarely develops through feedback alone. Research shows it often grows through experience that carries emotional weight, moments that are:

• novel (new roles, new challenges)
• emotionally significant (setbacks, loss, disappointment)
• or even mundane, when something small lands unexpectedly

These moments tend to be remembered more vividly because emotion strengthens memory encoding. In leadership, they often pass quickly, unless we pause long enough to reflect.

What helps in practice

Rather than asking “Why did I do that?” (which often triggers defensiveness), we encourage leaders to ask gentler, more useful questions, such as:

• What was I responding to in that moment?
• What pressure was I under?
• How might that have shaped how I came across?

These questions don’t excuse behaviour, they explain it. And explanation is what allows change.

A pause for reflection

You might find it helpful to take a few minutes to reflect on one recent leadership moment:

• When did pressure show up for you this week?
• How did it affect your availability, tone, or focus?
• What do you think others may have experienced in that moment?

You don’t need to fix anything yet. Awareness is the first step.

Where this leads

Relational leadership starts with the self, not as self-absorption, but as impact awareness. As leaders become more aware of how pressure shapes behaviour, they gain choice:

• choice about how they show up
• choice about the signals they send
• choice about the culture they help create

This is the first step in a wider journey, from leading self, to leading teams, to shaping culture.

What leaders say about our work

“One of the most impactful leadership sessions I’ve experienced in over 20 years. It allowed the team to go where we needed to, in a way that felt controlled, safe, and genuinely supportive.”  — Senior Leader

“I was sceptical at first. What surprised me was how safe and well-held the process felt – it enabled real conversations without forcing disclosure.” — Senior Manager

“The psychological ideas were woven into the work in a way that felt practical and thought-provoking, not academic or heavy.” — Team Leader

We’re careful to protect the confidentiality of the leaders and organisations we work with.   If you’d like, we’re always happy to connect you with leaders who’ve experienced this work, so you can hear directly from them.

A short pause to take this further

If this has resonated, you might find it helpful to slow things down for a moment and reflect more deliberately on your own experience of pressure.

We’ve created a short self-reflection guide for leaders, grounded in the same psychological ideas explored here. It’s designed to help you notice how pressure shows up for you, how it shapes your behaviour, and what signals you may be sending to others when it matters most.

Leading Under Pressure: A short self-reflection guide for leaders is practical, thoughtful, and easy to work through in a short space of time.

You can download the guide here.